First, Happy Easter to you all.  I trust you had a nice one.  I sure did.

In my previous life as a single man looking to make my stake in the world, I didn’t have much time for church.  Not even on the high holidays did I go.  It’s not that I am an atheist or didn’t fear the wrath and all…..it was just so early in the morning.  And on Sundays!  Ouch.  Couldn’t do it.  I’m sure the majority of you can relate.

Since getting married I have gone to church more in the last 3 years than the previous 30 combined.  This past Saturday I was introduced to midnight mass.  This is the kind of church I can get behind.  It’s late at night so you are already up, and it tends to be shorter.  Probably because the priests are tired and just want to count the collection plate and hit the sack.   I tried to start a new Easter tradition.  Let’s hope it catches on. 

Since the wife decided we were going to midnight mass I suggested that we go have a drink before hand.  It was not too hard to convince her, being that it was Saturday night.  Not completely unheard of right?  Who is it going to hurt?  So, I called up my Kume since I knew he was going to mass as well and had him join us.  Me, the wife, kume, and the wife’s sister get on our church clothes and head to a place close by and have a couple.  The sister was watching the clock pretty close because mom was going to mass as well. so we were ready to head out around 11:30 when Kume said;

 “One more?  Ok?  One more then we go.  Good, one more”. 

Things didn’t end up the way you might be thinking, one more wound up being only one more, and we left.

Mass was pretty standard.  It lasted about an hour and a half.  After that we split, quickly.  Neither the wife or her sister waited for their mom and they heard about it.  Plenty. 

We were looking for some more entertainment but since we don’t live in Vegas the bars were closing.  What to do?  We met up with the third sister and kept on going.  The night went on a little too long as they tend to do.

The next morning we slept late at the mother-in-laws house.  She was serving lunch for the family that day so it made sense to crash there, especially given what time we got in.

Easter Sunday is a big deal for most families and Serbian ones are no different.  The wifes dad got up really early to get lunch started.  In his kick ass smoke house he roasted a pig and a lamb over open flame.  If you’ve never had the chance, I recommend it.  It is the cats pajamas.  Once they come off the fire they go into the garage for “processing”.  That means several people stand over it with knives hacking off the best pieces and skin for themselves to eat right then and there.

I tell you all of that to tell you this.  A very close friend of mine, Jerry, is dating a greek girl.  Things are getting serious so he spent his first Easter with her Greek Orthodox family.  He was quite impressed with the spread they put out, which he should be.  He loved it so much that he sent me a picture of their lunch:

I’m not gonna lie, that lamb looks pretty tasty.  I bet it was farm fresh too, given that Jerry’s lady’s father is a butcher.  I’m jealous of that, he is up to his elbows in meat.  Jerk.

Greek Orthodox Easter; Meh, it's okay I guess,

Not one to be out done I sent him a picture of my lunch.

Serbian Orthodox Easter; It's awesome times 2 baby!

Now, any little Susie lunch pail can tell you that two is better than one.  Especially two sizzling, salty, steaming, delicious, fire roasted animals.  This round of the Orthodox showdown will go to the Serbs.  The Greeks are a festive people to be sure, and probably quite pious….at times, but their lack of vision cost them the gold this time around.  Why only make one lamb when they could easily be eating a whole pig too?  Pity. 

There is room on my plate for all of God’s creatures.


5 thoughts on “An Orthodox Easter showdown

  1. Well, I’m also a Serb and those pictures look absolutely disgusting. LOL. To each their own I guess. Then again, I’m also an atheist. Ha.

  2. In the Greek’s defense, Jerry forgot to take a picture of the industrial size grill. The lamb was just part of the picture!

  3. I was once engaged to a Greek guy, and attended midnight services with his family. That was FOUR hours of standing while holding a candle, followed at 4 am by a banquet of margaritsa, lamb brain soup. My fiance’s mother and I were the only two who ate it. I thought it was delicious at the time, but I might have been feeling a little faint from all the standing. At the time there was an “urban radio” hit “The Freaks Come out at Night” but we changed Freaks to Greeks, and laughed all the way home at dawn.

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