This past Saturday I helped my Kum move his family into a bigger house. I was glad to help even though the weather was horrible. If you are asked by a Serb to help with anything the expectation is that you will be there, period. There is no excuse acceptable, nothing other than “what time do you need me” will do. No problem. With one expectation comes another though. When you help a Serb you can guarantee that there will be lunch and plenty of drink to be had. It was amazing that we were able to move anything, we stopped every 10 minutes for either a beer, a smoke, a shot of whiskey or some combination of the three. Good work if you can find it. After one break Kume pulled me aside and said,
“The truck can’t go without gas.”
Well said my friend. While I was on the tail end of a break with Cic, we were watching another guy carry a vacuum cleaner out of the house towards the truck and that is when Cic told me;
“Look at that, vacuum. Is biggest scam since sliced bread. Push that damn thing around and move your couch, dust everywhere! Look in between! Dust! They don’t do a damn thing.”
I had to stop and let that bounce round in my head for a second so I could be sure that was what I heard. As he kept talking it was confirmed; vacuum cleaner = scam. I still can’t believe it. Not so much his views on the vacuum cleaner, it’s that sliced bread is somehow a scam that has been perpetrated on us all by the evil Bread Syndicate. How is that a scam? Who’s life has been ruined as a result of bread being sliced?
I have truly heard it all. All of it. I’m at a loss……