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Today marks the begining of Post for the Serbian Orthodox church, the Catholics out there know it as Lent. When I married the wife I converted to the church because it really doesn’t matter to me where I go, when I do. That is the one tradition that my family has and we keep, converting for our spouses. My Grandfather left the Catholic church for his wife and my sister actually joined the Church for her husband. My dad? Well he has never really been all that pious, mom either. For that I thank them both. As a result my childhood Sundays weren’t wasted.

We have been married for almost 5 years and she has been trying to get me to posti for all of them. In the past I have recognized the Friday rule but never done it all the way. This is a commitment but I am going to do it. Not try it, DO IT homie!!

It’s no joke in the Serb church, they go f**king balls out for God. No pews in the church.

You want salvation? Stand your ass up then and suffer for the Lord!

For them Lent is 40 days with no damn breaks. You do 40 days of fasting and you fast your ass off. It is written that you shall eat “nothing of an animal”. That means no meat, no eggs, no cheese, no milk, no mayonnaise for your tuna, no chocolate, no ice cream, and freaking broth either bro!! No pepper and egg sandwiches from Portillo’s either you lazy heathen. You got that??

I’m in this year all the way. I got this sh*t, Imma fast and Imma do 40 days on my head Yo! It’s fun as hell to deny yourself things when no one else is making you do it and no one is watching.

(this is me psyching myself up for this, it’s only been one day dammit.)

Here is what I’m gonna do. I’m going to post what I eat for all the world to see every flippin’ day so you can keep me honest. I’m not promising any fantastic new and exciting recipes, in reality it’s probably going to be boring. Plain fish and fruit because I only know how to make kick-ass dishes with meat in them.

If you have a recipe you want to share to help me out, go for it. Put that jazz up in the comments B.

On each day I will post what I ate the previous day and probably offer some commentary on it, especially if I ate something dreadful like the frozen Indian food I saw at the Jewel this afternoon. That looks like f**king dysentery in a box. No thanks.

 

No meat in my glass.  Yours?

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6 thoughts on “Post diet is starting today

  1. Wow! Someone who knows how I feel today. I’m with ya on this one. This is going to be the first year (10 years married) that I will be joining my wife for Post. Good Luck!

    • Thank you, I’ll need it as the days wear on. With the tips from my man in the comments below I don’t know if I’m worthy of even attempting to posti. That’s what I love about the Serbs, their humility.

  2. – The point about ‘post’ is to restrain yourself from pleasures food provides [back in time it was meat and cheese, nowadays you can get pleasures eating fasting food too], but more importantly restrain yourself from bad thoughts and deeds.

    – The other important thing is: DON’T BRAG ABOUT IT. Apostle Paul said something like “don’t put up a sad face, dark clothes, don’t moan to everyone that you’re fasting and how much you’re suffering from it [attention whore], but keep it for yourself, put on a happy face, colourful clothes…”, don’t let others know you’re fasting, unless they ask you directly.

    – Fish is eaten only 2-3 days during the Lent, don’t get too excited about trying new fish menus.

    – If you’re fasting without prayer, without going to mass, you’re doing it wrong. You’re just torturing your body/strenghtening your mind [determination, will].

    – So, if you want salvation, do it right then 😉

    – Fasting food is divided in 4 categories:

    1. Made on/with with water – no oil for cooking or sprinkling food after it’s cooked.

    2. Made on/with oil – you can have that oil if you like it

    3. With wine – you can even have a glass of wine with that oil [red wine only]

    4. Fish – Now, you can even have some fish. Make a feast.

    *Check the calendar for which dates you make which food

    This being a blog, you being an American, fasting/praying/church going being an exercise/time waste… I guess all those rules are meaningless. So, I guess you could do it your way, train your body, so when the next Lent comes, your body is fit, then train your mind some more, so the next Lent you could train your soul too.

    Or at least support your wife, by not eating eggs and bacon in front of her, while she’s fasting ;D

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