Quit looking at my tiny junk!

As with everything else in my life the frequency of my attendance at Christenings is on the rise.  I went to my first niece’s 7 years ago and that may have been the only one at that point.  I wouldn’t say that I am a professional Christening guest yet, the way that I am a professional wedding guest, but I am certainly an Olympic hopeful making my way up the ranks. 

A week ago we went to a (wait for it…..) Christening!  We Americans like to call them Baptisms and the semantics of this can be cause for confusion sometimes.   Personally, I find the confusion aggravating, can people really not see that the two words are synonymous?   What made this Christening special for me was that it was a combined one.  And what two groups do I like to pit against one another on this site?   Class? 
Greeks and Serbs!?!
   Now we have round two of the Serbo-Greek Orthodox showdown! 
This marvelous union of Orthodox religions came about because a Greek guy married a Serbian girl and they had twin boys.  The Christening was held at a Greek church (one point for them) and it was very pretty.  Much like the Serbian church it had frescos of saints and the stories of the bible covering every wall and ceiling and a domed ceiling.  But what they had that the Serbian church didn’t was pews; wonderful, wonderful pews, (one point for them).  You come to appreciate having a seat when you are in the middle of a two-hour service, even a hard wooden seat.  The service was just about an hour-long, no biggie.  After that we headed for the luncheon that the parents held for the guests.  Knowing that nothing in either one of these communities is a small affair I was ready for anything.
   I would compare this lunch to the average American wedding reception.  There was around 200 guests, open bar, a band, a DJ, a dessert table and it was at a banquet hall.  On a Greek/Serb scale this was a small intimate gathering of close friends and family.  To the Americans this was fighting to think of everyone you’ve ever met to fill the room; (minus one point from both groups for showing off).   As the day wore on and the drink was flowing there was plenty of dancing going on, mainly by the women, but there was the occasional brave man who would get out there.  The wife almost killed an older guy twice when he tried to dance next to her.  He almost made it through an entire song but bailed at the last-minute, seeking refuge at the closest table.   I kept waiting for him to start clutching at his chest, a grabber was imminent, poor guy just didn’t have the stamina or enthusiasm on a Sunday, (two points for the Serbs for life threatening situation to the elderly).  The Serbian women have a tendency to dominate a dance floor.  Admittedly I couldn’t tell in some cases who was from what ethnic group, lots of dark hair, but I can recognize the Serbian music.  It went on and on and on and on, (one point for the Serbs). 
  It ended up being a long day.  We didn’t leave until 9 ish that night.  The wife looked surprised when I told her what time it was.  The day had the feel of a Saturday night for sure.
Let’s tally this up shall we……
2 points Serbs and 1 point for the Greeks
 The Serbs won this round due to their willingness to jeopardize the health of an old man, dominate that dance floor, and party way too much on a Sunday.
Don’t think me biased even though the Serbs are up 2-0 in the Orthodox showdown.  I am an impartial observer!  The Greeks will have plenty of opportunity to get on the board in the summer months. 
And I’ll be there keeping score.

5 thoughts on “Orthodox Christening Collision

  1. Sorry, isn’t the tally 2 points for the Greeks (Greek church, pews) and 1 for the Serbs (dancefloor domination)?

    • Greeks – 1 point for using their church, 1 point for having pews and -1 point for showing off. 1 Total.
      Serbs- 2 points for dance floor domination, 1 point for music domination and -1 for showing off. 2 Total.

      It’s a tricky formula I know. That’s why I’m here to guide you through. 😉

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